You tell someone:

Work has been awful. I am completely overwhelmed.

They immediately start giving you solutions.

You get irritated.

They get confused.

They were trying to help.

You wanted something else.

Neither person necessarily did anything absurd.

The conversation had an unfilled job description.

So give it one.

Name the Job

Before the other person has to guess, you can say:

I mostly need to vent for five minutes.

Or:

Can you help me figure out what to do?

Or:

I do not need solutions yet. I just want somebody to understand why I am upset.

Or:

Tell me if you think I am missing something.

Those sentences can save an astonishing amount of unnecessary friction.

Example: The Problem Solver

Someone you care about says:

My boss is making me insane.

Your brain immediately begins assembling a twelve-point intervention plan.

Before deployment, try:

Do you want ideas, or do you want company while you complain about your boss?

Maybe they say:

Ideas. Please.

Excellent. Deploy machinery.

Maybe they say:

No. I want to complain extravagantly for ten minutes.

Also useful information.

You now know what job you have been hired for.

Example: Reassurance

Sometimes the need is not advice.

It is:

Tell me I am not imagining this.

Or:

Remind me that one bad day does not mean everything is collapsing.

Or simply:

Sit here with me while this sucks.

Those are legitimate conversational functions.

They become much easier to fulfill when somebody names them.

Needs Can Change Mid-Conversation

You might begin needing comfort.

Then, twenty minutes later, become ready to solve the problem.

You can say that too.

Okay. I think I am done being upset now. Help me figure out what I should actually do.

The conversation is allowed to change jobs.

You just need both people to notice when it does.

This Is Not Mind Reading in Reverse

You will not always know exactly what you need.

That is fine.

You can say:

I honestly do not know what would help right now. Can you just stay with me for a minute?

That is still useful information.

You are not required to arrive with a complete technical specification for your own emotional state.

When to Use This

Use this when:

somebody keeps helping in ways that make you more irritated;
you keep giving advice that nobody seems to want;
the same complaint keeps circling without changing anything;
you need support but cannot seem to get the kind that actually helps.

Ask:

What job does this conversation need to do right now?

Then, if you know, tell the other person.

They may be perfectly willing to help.

They just need to know which machine they are operating.

FOLLOW THE WIRES