Where to Cut
A surprising number of problems become much easier once you ask one annoying little question:
What am I actually trying to accomplish?
Not:
What am I doing?
Not:
What am I supposed to want?
Not even:
What would feel like winning right this second?
What outcome are you trying to create?
That is a goal cut.
Example: Dating
“I want her to like me.”
Understandable.
But is that actually the goal?
Because if the larger goal is:
I want a healthy, mutually wanted relationship
then getting one particular person to like you is only useful if the two of you are actually a good fit.
That changes how you approach dating.
Instead of asking only:
How do I make myself more appealing to her?
you can also ask:
Do I like who I am around her?
Does she seem interested in knowing me?
Are we compatible?
Is this interaction good for both of us?
Am I trying to build connection—or win approval?
The goal is not merely to get chosen.
You are choosing too.
Example: An Argument
You are arguing with someone you care about.
What is the goal?
To prove you were right?
To make them understand why you are hurt?
To solve the original problem?
To prevent it from happening again?
To repair the relationship afterward?
Those goals can require very different moves.
Winning the argument may even interfere with the outcome you care about more.
Example: The Broken Shelf
“The shelf keeps falling down.”
Fine.
What do you want?
A shelf that:
looks good?
holds twenty pounds?
survives a toddler?
costs almost nothing?
can be removed without damaging the wall?
There may be several perfectly good repairs.
There is no reason to optimize for the strongest possible shelf if all it needs to hold is three paperback books and a ceramic frog.
Your solution should answer to the job.
When to Try This Cut
Use a goal cut when:
you are working very hard but not sure whether it is helping;
winning and succeeding may not be the same thing;
several possible solutions all have different tradeoffs;
you are optimizing a method because you forgot what the method was for.
Ask:
What do I want to become true?
Then look at what you are currently doing.
Sometimes the problem is not that your strategy is failing.
It is succeeding at the wrong job.
FOLLOW THE WIRES