Where to Cut
Sometimes a problem feels like one giant event because everyone involved has been compressed into one sentence.
“The project failed.”
“We keep fighting.”
“Dating isn’t working.”
Okay.
Who is doing what?
An actor cut separates the people, groups, systems, or other agents involved so you can see what each one contributes to the situation.
Example: Dating
“I can’t get dates.”
That problem contains at least two actors:
you;
the people you want to date.
And each side controls different things.
You can control:
who you approach;
how you present yourself;
whether you listen;
whether you respect boundaries;
what kind of experience interacting with you creates;
whether you keep choosing people who are unlikely to reciprocate.
You cannot control whether a particular person wants you.
That distinction matters.
Otherwise you can spend enormous energy trying to solve a part of the machinery that does not belong to you.
Example: Work
“The project is failing.”
Who is actually inside that sentence?
Maybe:
you;
your manager;
the client;
another team;
a vendor;
the system everyone is using.
If the client keeps changing requirements, working harder may not solve the problem.
If you are missing deadlines, blaming the vendor may not solve it either.
Separate the actors.
Then ask what each one is actually doing.
Example: The Kitchen
“The kitchen is always a mess.”
Fine.
Who uses it?
Who cooks?
Who leaves dishes?
Who buys groceries?
Who cleans?
Who has agreed to do what?
Sometimes a household problem that feels like:
THE KITCHEN
becomes much easier to solve once the kitchen stops being treated as the actor.
The kitchen has retained counsel and declines responsibility.
When to Try This Cut
Use an actor cut when:
responsibility feels blurry;
several people are involved;
you are trying to control someone else’s part of the problem;
everyone is blaming “the situation”;
you cannot tell who actually has the ability to change what happens next.
Ask:
Who is doing what?
Then:
Which part is actually mine to move?
You do not need control over the entire system to change your part of it.
FOLLOW THE WIRES